Love Poem (No on Prop 8)

Joke of the Day

Read this joke from Jolly's blog....very funny...

A man escapes from a prison where he has been kept for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy is probably dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you".

To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. I told him where to find it. "Be strong,honey. I love you,Too."

Gavin Newsom....my latest Hero...

Gavin Newsom the current mayor of San Franciso.....my latest hero. Now why would I called a mayor in a city that I am not part of or even visited before as a hero? I watched the documentary "Pursuit of Equality" yestesrday and I am so touched by what this man stands and fight for. Truly admired by his courage to set what is right.

Equality is for all. It indeed is for all, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation or anything. Everyone regardless of their background should be given the same and fair treatment. I am not an american nor I went to america before but I know what is it feels like to be have the same dream, to be in the same fight. I am gay who lives in this part of the world where tolerance to our community can be associate to the Stonewall era. I am absolutely admired Gavin courage and what he stands for in pursuit to set things right. What more even impressing is, he is straight. A straight guy to fight for gay cause is very rare.....a Straight Politician guy fighting for a gay cause, now that is a sign !!!! The time has come for us to arise !!!..

Its time for gay people I guess to come out from the closet. I think we are in the closet for too long that we do not know who we are anymore. This is our fundamental rights that we ought to fight for. If we were to continue to keep silent, then forever we will not be treated fairly and be taken seriously. Think about this, if we got a choice, we wont be living in this unique created live given to us. We will be like all those normal people out there, living and leading in the "ideal" lifestyle.

Why would we need to fight for all this? Marriage as often they said is between men and a women. But what actually the real definition of marriage? To me, a wedding is a time where two loving people who decided to make a vow to each other to stay commited and love each other for better and for worst. It is a sacred moment of course .....but it is not limited to straight couples only. If people decided to have that commitment in life, why cant we? Many christian said no because it is not right.......but then again as a christian, we shall not judge. We are not the judge, at the end of it during the day of Judgement, gays married couple are not going to explain to the christian people. They are to answer to God himself, directly where neither of us would need to be involved!!!! So stop playing judge and act like we are God.....cause we are not. Marriage is solely a decision by two consenting and rational adults, a decision where they made on their own......that we would need to respect, we would need to take it and if they are committed to one another.....they should get whatever same rights as any married couples are.

I believe in marriage and I believe in God, and I am gay......so i guess that is why I am sentimental about this thing.....
Watching the documentary and came to read a few articles for the "say no to 8" campaign, I felt like hey so many people, even those people in power are giving their thumbs up for this campaign.....i realised i need to voice out as well. Even though whether that prop8 win or lose, it doesnt affect me but as a gay person, I guess I should give my support .....

Equality is for all and say NO to PROP8....

Promotion....yet again?

Today at work, I am writing my job description. Yes you are reading it right, me writing my own job description of which my lobster boss asked me to do few weeks ago. Finally, my mood is good today to pen it down. What pissed me off is that why would I have to write my own job description? Isnt that supposed to be prepared by him? and when I asked for format....no idea, no clue. So I just did it free flow and wrote as if I am in heaven hahahaha.....

Well basically if your boss cant write your job description, its up to you to bring yourself to heaven hahaha.....I wrote three pages along of my skills and competencies. Yeah three pages long and for each skill, I quote what I did hahaha....

At the end of the exercise, I realised hey I am indirectly doing a self assessment on the my job group competencies. So I make a comparison to a job group higher than mine. To my surprised, I am close...in fact I think I am qualified for a promotion. So the evil side of me have a sneaky plan hahaha. I wrote to my boss and told him what I did for the job description and at the same time asked for a promotion !!! hahahaha.

Then I realised last year around this time, I too asked for the promotion and I got it hahaha and this time same thing happened, but not sure if I would be lucky enough haha. So fingers crossed and pray hard that I would get it as well this time. But chances are quite slim in this situation that I am leaving the team.......but if you never tried, you never know rite hehe.

If I got, it means I jumped two ladder in just 12 months hahahaha....... and that is really in heaven!!!

Bureaucractic Day

Today I almost forgot my best friend birthday hahaha....how could I? I was so drunk yesterday because of my ex-colleague's wedding. I already did some stupid stuff that I did not want to even speak about haha. Today when I woke up, I developed a headache.....yeah hangover. Gosh, it been years that I actually had this. Maybe really my age is catching up hahaha...or maybe not hehe.

Anyway, today went to the Klang Court to see a translator. My gosh, I dont know why I feel so fearful of court hahaha. You know sitting there, watching every lawyers walking around and those people.....the question you asked is "hmmmmmmm what did they done wrong?" hahaha then to the lawyers "eeee why all botak one" hahahaha The court building was built at 1965...no kidding, was already there way before I was born haha.

Then after that I went to the land office to get a form. Have to wait for almost an hour for a form. And the best part is, the whole process of land transfer will take me 1.5 years.....really !@#$!@$%#$!@#...

Work itself today or any other day is not fun anymore. I feel more stressful each day and grumpy. Dont like my bosses and their stupid ideas. Nonsense direction and rubbish decision.....God, I really...wait desperately want a new job !!!! But today dont want to talk about it....

Alphabeat - Go Go

very 80s hahaha but i love this..... Came to know this band, Alphabeat when I watch my favourite talk show...Graham Norton Show hehe

Stress......How Can I Have One Day Without You?

Lately in tremendous stress.....yeah, not feeling happy, full of worries and then just feel so low. So many things happened at the same time might not be a good idea actually. I finally submitted my skill asessment today. Hopefully, everything will go well.....

Went through my appraisal yesterday. I dont really put a high expectation on my bonus this year. I think it is for the better, at least I dont feel dissapointed at the end. Dont get me wrong, the appraisal went well, I got good comments for my performance but based on my experience, good comments doesnt always equal to good bonus. Anyway, will wait and see...

Talk about my next role....today, during one of the session, my new boss told me that if i dont find a job come next September, he would not close my window. It sounds good isnt it? Just that after this statement he added, "If I shut your window, I dont know what am I going to do with you, afterall I would have a replacement for your position by then". It just broke my heart. I mean I knew about the whole game rule, but to hear it is somehow different. But I am alright. I already had myself ready that if I still could not secure my next role in shell for x period, I would resigned on my own account. Afterall, it is easy for me to secure a position out there.....hmmmm maybe during recession might not be a good idea. But yet again, what option do I have....

The stress I have over this and couple with the others.....somehow I feel so tired and weak. Like now in this case, I could not see a difference of me at a place where I am all alone and me here with friends and family. I mean right now, I got no one to talk to nor I got anyone I can talk to. Sometmes you tell your friend and you realised they are not really interested to know ...... it is better to have that problem to myself, afterall I am still the only one who going to face the whole ordeal. Being alone is something I should get adjusted to.....

When I look at the mirror today, I still smile even though the stress is still there, the problem of yesterday still lingers and the worries for tomorrow still hovering in my mind. Yet above all this, I would still smile because there will be no other better way to handle this than to smile.....
Then sun continue shine even though there are rains clouds settling in, it continue to shine even though people complain about the heat, it continue to shine even though the night is taking over its course. The sun never failed to shine because he believes he still has the power to bring a difference ....I want to be that sun, to continue to shine even though the whole around me seems to collapse or given up on me.......I want to continue to shine that light....

Will You Support Me???

Today went to work for our townhall meeting. What is a townhall meeting? It is something like annual general meeting (AGM). I was elected to present my team's work. Basically to showcase our achievements for the year and knowledge sharing session. I did that presentation in front of few hundreds people....yeah a bit mind boggling huh...but I guess I am sort of used to do this already. I used to emcee, well sort of, in front of 200 over people in my previous company's annual dinner hahahaha....

What I find interesting was when people started coming up to me and commented about my presentation, how interesting it was and I was one of the best presenter....its so nice to hear such appraising words sometimes, it means your hard work sort of paid off. But, whenever I faced this sort of situation, I always got a blushed face....never failed. Too shy haha....but I got the whole groups of people laughing, so either I am a really good joker or I am a good presenter hahaha.

Anyway, today also after the meeting, my boss called me up for another short meeting. He asked me if I am interested to stay on with the team for another year......of which I can based in Holland during that period. Its nice right? But I turned that offer down. Now, many people think I am again stupid.....why turn down such offer. It was an offer for a position as transition manager....good pay, good place and expatriate term. If i took the job, I might get all those financial trouble that i am in.....all vanished in matter of days.

I turned the offer down, because money is important but I never let money to be the deciding factor. For me, the important thing is about my growth in terms of experience and career. The position sounds so lucrative but I knew it well enough that I would be doing the same thing again, the same struggle for the past two years. I turned it down because I felt myself should moved out from this comfort zone and start something new now. Something that can help me to grow in my career. I dont know if it was the right decison but normally if I made a wrong decision, I always strucked by guilt and regret. And this time around? Nope, nothing....just peace in my heart.

I dont know if I can get a new position come march next year. I dont know if I will ever to go back to my boss to beg him for my job back but I do know things would fall into places later. I have faith in Him to provide me what He promised and I have faith in the situation will get better....I need a lot of prayer because this struggle is slowly wearing me down.... What frustrated me was I dont know or I cant be assured of the job that I will be having.....or whether I would be able to pull it through. This insecurities are the one that I found myself fighting.....I cant denied that i did not felt fear....fear was part of insecurity, especially during this time of recession. Many have advised me not to do it during this time, that I should refrained myself of launching the plan this year, but instead wait sometime later. My instinct is telling me then "now or never" and I chose to believe them.......I guess, right now there is nothing more that I can do but just keep that hope high and really pray that things will fall into places. I am taking a high risk here out of faith. I know I can do it but I need people to support me, at least morally.....Will you support me? hahahaha....

From Melbourne to Kuala Lumpur....Factory Outlet Escapade

Factory Outlet....is an interesting place now for me haha. I was in Melbourne few weeks ago and I shopped too much too many in factory outlet over there... Guess what? I just found out today that in Kuala Lumpur, we too have one place like Brisbane's Harbour town, just that ours are much much smaller, factory outlets.

My sister asked me if I am interested to visit the Esprit factory outlet. Since, I have nothing to do...so I answered yes. thinking that all they got to have is just one small shop with few clothes to call it as factory outlet. Yeah, me "looking down" on them. Cant blame me because last week when I went to the zara warehouse sales, all I got at the end of it was just a body full of sweat hahaha. Very hideous selection they got at the warehouse sales....and all big sizes!!!. So dissapointed was I that for the first time, I didnt get anything from a Zara sales hahaha.

Anyway, by that dissapointment, I thought it might be the same for the esprit outlet. But wait...when we arrived...then only I realised omg, this is my new playground !!!! hahahaha look at the left is Esprit and Quiksilver.....look at the right is Calvin Klein, Armani Exchange !!!! hahaha ...like all "teenage girls" I am estatic !!! The one thing that I did not do was screaming and keep gigling hahaha, maybe because my mother was with us hahaha.

Okie, the end result? I spent over RM 550 on Esprit and Quiksilver. Bought two shirts and two pants from Esprit. One shirt and one short from Quiksilver hehe.... I called my best friend, Anne, she scolded the hell out of me because I spent too much again....But then, Anne, if you see that guy who was queueing in front of me, he and his family, bought 35 pairs of shirts and shorts....worth how much? RM 2350!!!!! Eh I am almost dropped on the floor when I saw the pile of clothes on the counter and how the register blings in with four digits!!!. The uncle some more smile at me, I think I watched with an obvious awe hahaha. I mean I seen people bought many stuff on grocery but on clothing, this was the first time!!. Gosh, I wonder how big was their wardrobe is...hahaha

Upon walking out from the shop, my mother started her lecture....."Gosh, bought again.....your wardrobe is almost collapsing!!!! No more space to put in....." hahaha...I guess, i will just need to find space. If I tell her, I definitely would come here again....sure she will slap me there and then hahaha.... This trip a bit rush, no time to venture that CK and AX....till next time. I even already have someone in mind to bring along hahahaha..... KARIN, if you are reading this, get ready....leave Lisabel with your sister in law....this is a true sport, we got to go with energy hahahaha

Ok la tomorrow got important management presentation.....want to sleep...see ya.
P/s: why nowadays no more photos to see? because me very lazy hahahaha....next time la. Practising for my english test in dec !!! So have to write a lot haha