Will You Support Me???

Today went to work for our townhall meeting. What is a townhall meeting? It is something like annual general meeting (AGM). I was elected to present my team's work. Basically to showcase our achievements for the year and knowledge sharing session. I did that presentation in front of few hundreds people....yeah a bit mind boggling huh...but I guess I am sort of used to do this already. I used to emcee, well sort of, in front of 200 over people in my previous company's annual dinner hahahaha....

What I find interesting was when people started coming up to me and commented about my presentation, how interesting it was and I was one of the best presenter....its so nice to hear such appraising words sometimes, it means your hard work sort of paid off. But, whenever I faced this sort of situation, I always got a blushed face....never failed. Too shy haha....but I got the whole groups of people laughing, so either I am a really good joker or I am a good presenter hahaha.

Anyway, today also after the meeting, my boss called me up for another short meeting. He asked me if I am interested to stay on with the team for another year......of which I can based in Holland during that period. Its nice right? But I turned that offer down. Now, many people think I am again stupid.....why turn down such offer. It was an offer for a position as transition manager....good pay, good place and expatriate term. If i took the job, I might get all those financial trouble that i am in.....all vanished in matter of days.

I turned the offer down, because money is important but I never let money to be the deciding factor. For me, the important thing is about my growth in terms of experience and career. The position sounds so lucrative but I knew it well enough that I would be doing the same thing again, the same struggle for the past two years. I turned it down because I felt myself should moved out from this comfort zone and start something new now. Something that can help me to grow in my career. I dont know if it was the right decison but normally if I made a wrong decision, I always strucked by guilt and regret. And this time around? Nope, nothing....just peace in my heart.

I dont know if I can get a new position come march next year. I dont know if I will ever to go back to my boss to beg him for my job back but I do know things would fall into places later. I have faith in Him to provide me what He promised and I have faith in the situation will get better....I need a lot of prayer because this struggle is slowly wearing me down.... What frustrated me was I dont know or I cant be assured of the job that I will be having.....or whether I would be able to pull it through. This insecurities are the one that I found myself fighting.....I cant denied that i did not felt fear....fear was part of insecurity, especially during this time of recession. Many have advised me not to do it during this time, that I should refrained myself of launching the plan this year, but instead wait sometime later. My instinct is telling me then "now or never" and I chose to believe them.......I guess, right now there is nothing more that I can do but just keep that hope high and really pray that things will fall into places. I am taking a high risk here out of faith. I know I can do it but I need people to support me, at least morally.....Will you support me? hahahaha....